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I am starting to realize that I am a pretty good mother even though I have done many mistakes.  My chidren are grown now and have their own lives.  I can see how their lives are affected by the way they were raised.  When my children were young my husband and I had very low incomes.  It has always been hard living from paycheck to paycheck.  Both my kids had busy productive lives growing up.  (band, sports, 4-H, etc.)  When they both turned 14 they both had jobs (either babysitting, washing dishes at a restaurant, etc.) so they could afford their own clothes, car, etc.  They have both been very responsible and not afraid to work.  They both have major respect for their elders.  They are polite and treat older people with respect and love.  They are both very compassionate people and I am proud of them.  After working at BOCES a few years I have noticed that many teenagers in high school  lack job ambition and work ethics.  They also have no respect for authority.  The thing that really bothers me is they have no clue.  I try to explain to them that they need to respect people more and they do not understand.  It boggles my mind.  I love these kids and want to help them in their lives but I can't seem to get through to them.  The worst part is that the kids with the worst attitudes are the ones that think they are doing everything right.  I am hoping that I will continue to get enlightened about how to get through to them.  I only want to seem them truly happy in their lives. 

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It is very hard to deal with teens these days even people in there young '20s. They just don't want the responsiblities. My parents run there own business which is usually in need of at least 2 employees. No one wants to do anything. They always want to much money. They show up late or not at all. The other day they had an 18 year old that was to show up for work at a certain time. Never came and ended up calling around noon time saying they wouldn't be able to make it that day. 5 hrs after they were supposed to be there. "Nevermind we don't need you anylonger", they told him. "Oh, well i thought you needed the help" the kid told them. This was supposed to be acceptable for someone. Do the parents even try anymore? I am trying to teach my children as much responsibility as i can with out turning into my parents. I'm only 33 and I'm having a real hard time not sounding like them. If you have any suggestions i would love them. I know my husband is no help when it comes to this. So Some times I feel like a single parent when it comes to this. I don't want to be strict. I'm only asking them to help around the house. They are 11 and 14 I don't think it's to much to ask. I've never asked them to do laundry, just put away the dirty and clean. I've never asked them to cook meals or wash dishes, just clean up there plates and fix there own microwavables. (within reason of course)Also, keep there rooms decent.

reply to esthercaldwell

I think you are doing just fine. At least you are teaching them responsibility. There are alot of things I did wrong and I wasn't strict enough with chores, etc., but they learned something good somewhere along the line. Believe me, they are not perfect but I still like what I see. My daughter actually told me that she is so glad that I taught her how to be independent and be able to take care of herself. It surprised me because I always thought I never did enough. Maybe parents do way too much for their children and that's why they aren't responsible and have no respect for people.

Kids know what they are taught. So if the parents don't teach them respect, discipline, or responsibility, they won't see those concepts as being important. They won't be receptive to anyone else explaining the importance of these concepts until they feel that the way they're used to going about things doesn't work. That part takes time since no teenager is eager to admit that they don't know it all.

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